Day 9 Not So Comfy Challenge

Hello Dreamers and Doers,

For the next challenge, I am doing a clean out the closet challenge.

I know, this challenge is not sexy. It is not bold. But, it is purposeful.

Now trust me, this may not seem like an uncomfortable challenge but it really is.

You see, I have been trying…okay not really trying more like thinking about… cleaning out my closet for years. My closet was actually still holding tight to a fabulous suit my mom bought me when I graduated college. Now, I love this suit. It is a seersucker perfect for summer beautiful suit. But, and this is a biggie, I have not worn this thing since my time in France after college was over. And, after 3 kids, this thing fits in that it sorta fits way.

The truth is that I have a whole bunch of other clothes that I have not worn in years. And when I say years, I truly mean years. I look at dresses and I look at jackets and I look at suit pants and I think maybe just maybe one day I will wear these things. So, year after year, I keep hold of them and year after year I don’t wear them. Year after year, I think there’s a possibility that one day I will…so I keep them tucked away in my closet taking up space.

I’ve been reluctant to give them to Goodwill or some charity simply for because I am afraid that I will need them. Who know when the occasion will come up that I need that long backless dress I have been saving since High School!!  Are you with me here? Anyone else do this?

Afraid is the key word here. I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself and what I realized is this feeling is really a feeling of scarcity or lack.

Its fear that I won’t have something I need.

Whoa! Mind blown.

The crazy thing is that at this moment in time,  I am blessed that I could easily go out and purchase a suit if I needed it or most anything that I want without really depriving my family.. So, it turns out that I’m living with a fear that is not based in reality. However, knowing this doesn’t really take away the fear.

I am assuming this is like most fears.

Someone who is afraid to fly probably doesn’t feel comforted by the fact that flying is safer than driving.

Someone who is afraid of public speaking probably is not comforted that no one has ever died of speaking in front of people.

Someone who is afraid of heights is probably not comforted that there has never been a fall on that tall Tower of Terror at Disney.

It turns out that most fears are not based on reality.

Perhaps the important thing is not why we have the fears, but how to overcome them.

First, I acknowledge that my fear is not cleaning my closet. While it may be messy and a bit over crowded, it’s not as if a huge monster is going to come out and attack me!!  Although, I have to be honest, in my head right now I’m picturing a huge clothes monster coming to eat me. LOL!!

Second, I have to confront the fear. It’s time that I face my fear of lack.

Sometimes, the only way to confront something is to do it head-on. You always hear me say, you must act! Fear only gets worse if you think about it. If we could logic our way out of fear we would have done that by now.

Little by little,  I took down things that I had not worn in years. That led to the decision to get rid of things that I wore but I didn’t love. These are things that I just wear because they’re there. Don’t you have things like that? Things that you just put on simply because it’s easy and it’s there.

But, from here on out, I want to wear things that I love that make me feel completely confident.

Two full garbage boxes and a huge box later my closet is clear. Now, I am just waiting for CHKD Thrift to come take them away.

Can I share a secret? The longer it sits on my porch I am tempted to go through it one more time just to make sure. What I do know is that that would be a mistake  and that would be letting my fear of lack win. And, that’s not going to happen.

And BONUS, as my closet stays clear, my brain stays clear.

There is only so much space in your life. So, you can choose to spend time taking care of your clothes you don’t really want/wear, washing your clothes, drying your clothes, the worst, folding clothes…. or you can give your clothes to someone who actually needs them and wants them and will wear them.

I see what they mean when they say get rid of the stuff. I finally realize that I’m sick of taking care of  things that I neither want nor need. And that is freeing.

I am making space for the important things.

What are you hanging on to based on fear?

 

Aim high,

          Amanda

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ARUpton

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